::the moving forward::

i sit on a blanket made by his grandmother. years of love passed down. legacy.
birds chirp from tree to tree.
mowers hum.
children play.
rohen snores.
i write.

soaking it all in. trying to remember with words these moments of bliss. moments i never dreamed would be mine. i never knew it could be this good.  this is family. my heart walking around outside of my body ready to break me at any moment but totally worth the risk.

i look on as the man of my dreams, the one they call daddy, teaches her the perfect technique for building sand castles and the little guy how to stack wood just so for a bon fire. all the while i am wondering how i got so lucky.

descendant of brokenness. anger and hatred.
moving forward to a life of love, fullness and joy.

 I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.

john 10:10 [MSG]

::my kid would never do that::

:photo source:

six kids five and under. six.
i wear one and we chase the other five.
three in the kiddie pool decide it would be fun to have a mud bath and proceed to mix dirt from the garden with the pool water. gross, but they are in heaven and not fighting or crying or pouting or whining so whatevs. the little ones bounce from the slide to the sandbox to the trampoline.

twenty-seven stories are started and never finished between the mamas.
we laugh at the chaos and say, "remember when it was just us?"

no desire to change the present only finding it humorous to think of uninterrupted conversations.

dinner is ready!

thank god for warm weather, the grill, the fact that i don't know how to work it and good men that take pride in a fire grilled hamburger.

i lay a blanket in the floor in front of the tv for the kids. surely with three at the tv and one asleep we can talk over dinner. ha! we take turns delivering more cheetos and filling milk cups. questions are asked and either partially answered or not answered at all because we can't remember the question when we finally get back to a moment where no one needs anything.

the kids finish eating and go play in the bedroom and she tells the story that makes me teary and nervous and thankful all at the same time. for a moment, there is quiet among the tinies. but come on mama, quiet among tinies most often indicates mischief.

one came to the table and said something about another one "peeing in the vent."
i brushed it off like, whatever, my kid would never pee in the vent. but the mister went to check things out and sure enough, it was my kid peeing in the vent. ummmmm.....

i have no words.

the evening ends with hugs and kisses, unfinished conversation and plans to have a no-kids outing in the future. we put the kids to bed, i tidy the house a bit,  basking in the beauty of it all, thankful. encouraged that we are not alone in this journey.

*linking up with the better mom and miscellany monday

::there was this one time, at band camp::

:photo source:

i mean, baptist hospital, when this happened....

remember when i told you about baby girl being in the NICU?
those hospital walls were closing in on us. besides sleeping in a shoebox- a small room that held a twin bed and a chair and that was it- we had a good night and decided to venture out for lunch. i knew i had to pee before i left the hospital and planned to use the restroom when we arrived at the restaurant.

did i mention it was valentines day?

so we get to the restaurant and i ask the waitress for the restroom and proceed to sit down, eat my lunch and never go. i remember as we are leaving the restaurant thinking, i'll go when we get back to the hospital.

did i mention i had a baby four days earlier?

we get back to the hospital and have to park further away from the entrance than we had before. no big deal. we get out of the van and my sweet husband needs to get something out of his suitcase and he takes foreeeeeeeeeeever. i even make the comment, "remember when i said i had to pee, before we got to the restaurant? yep, still need to." he rolled his eyes at my sarcasm that often comes out as just plain mean and we started off through the parking deck.

he was being funny or something along the way, he's like that. we laugh a lot togther. that's probably why we are so happy and in love. well that and grace, tons of grace.

anyways, he was making me laugh and i told him to stop. and i felt it coming. i stopped, crossed my legs as tight as i could while he continued walking not noticing what was about to take place. i pulled tight any muscle that would submit but alas, all were worn slap out from the birth of baby number three and refused to assist in my deepest time of need.  

the flood gates opened and yes folks, i wet my pants right there in the parking lot of baptist hospital. i'm not talking a little wet either. i'm talking down my legs to my shoes kind of wet. i know, gross.
jacob walks towards me laughing, cause really who wouldn't laugh at a grown woman soaking herself in public, but i start crying. hysterically, post pardum, dear-god-why kind of crying. and....here's the best part....due to horomones, that's my story and i'm sticking to it, i got mad at him. it was afterall his fault. he was being funny. come on!!!

he took it well, in silence. no retaliation to the crazy.

did i mention we give each other a lot of grace?

i dug out clean pajama pants and underwear from the suitcase in the van and my sweet husband bought me a pair of brand-spankin'-new RED toms. happy valentine's day to me. i then put my toms on with my red polkadot pajama pants and marched myself into ann taylor to buy a pair of pants. yep, in. my.pajamas.

finally able to laugh about the whole ordeal and realizing how horomonally-pyscho i was, told my sweet fella i was super sorry and we kissed and made up.

ahhhh married life.
grace. grace. all is grace.

:everyone gets them, how will YOU use them today?:

:photo:

moments.

life is made of lots of moments. specific pieces of time where decisions are made and lives are changed.

this kid had a moment on stage that will impact his future. (warning: strong language)




this family had a moment where they made a decision to sell their belongings and give themselves in service to others.


this man had a moment where he chose to turn the other cheek, go the extra mile and possibly change a troubled kids life.

how will you spend your moments today?

when you little one wants to play with you?
when someone is rude to you?
when you are cheated?
when you are blessed?
when you get the bad news?
when you are discouraged?
when you are happy?

"you will find when you look back at your life, that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things out of the spirit of love"

-henry drummond

::thoughts on faith [it's the heart]::

:photo:

we snuggled close as i read about the scrawny one. the one whose dad didn't even think to introduce him because he just wasn't much to offer at the time. we talked about how he was the one god wanted to use. we talked about how his heart was much like gods. we talked about how god looks on the inside, not the outside.

[it's the heart that god cares about]

i have to remind myself of this frequently as i have spent most of my adult life working for the approval of those around me.

youth leader....check.
sunday school teacher....check.
attend church three times per week...check.
participate in the easter play....check.
ready my bible every day...check.
pray every day...check.

this was my life several years ago.

currently, i am not a youth leader, not a sunday school teacher and i do not attend church three times per week.

i read my bible not to check it off my to-do list but because i want to know him more.
i pray not to check it off my to-do list but because i am trying to figure out the point of it all.
i love people not because others are watching but because i truly desire to love like jesus.

i talk with him in the still small moments of the night when eisley has had a bad dream, rohen is kicking field goals and i can't get back to sleep. i talk with him during my 40 minute commute to and from work every day. i talk with him constantly, knowing him more with each word.

i think about the life jesus lived and how madeleine l'engle thinks we should be able to live out our lives just as jesus lived out his.

like standing for women and speaking out about their value.
like standing up for the outcast and touching the untouchable.
like standing for children and letting their voices be heard.
like taking time to relax and fellowship at weddings and parties.
like taking time to know and be part of community.
like living with less so others can have more.
like turning the other cheek
like putting others before myself.

there is no criteria for knowing god.

he is not waiting for the strong or the pretty or the pure.
he is waiting for you.
he wants to know you.

people look at the outward appearance, but it's the heart that god cares about.


*linking up with heather for just write

:handmade christmas:

this weekend i spent some time working on christmas presents. we are doing things a little differently this year and going the handmade route. i have tons of gift ideas swimming in my head and i will share a few as the weeks go along.

i have a couple of pre-teens on my list, so i put together a little bundle of goodies for each of them. it was so fun putting their little package together. picturing their faces when they open it and praying they enjoy having it as much as i enjoyed making it.

when all of my bundles were complete i realized i had a few left over. soooo....to make christmas a little easier for you i have a couple of bundles to offer at a super price.

each bundle includes
a wristlet pouch measuring 6x10 inches  ($15.00 value)
2 button covered bookmarks ($8.00 value)
4 pair of colorful earrings ($24.00 value)


i am offering each bundle for $25 shipped!! that's quite a steal aaaaand it saves you a trip out into the shopping madness that often goes along with holidays.


if you are interested email me which bundle you would like to purchase along with you paypal email and shipping address:: mgb0816@yahoo.com



happy shopping!



*linking up with life made lovely

:: thoughts on marriage [no.2]::

a couple of weeks ago i started a little series: thoughts on marriage where i light heartedly encourage new wives, to live simply, consider the heart and for heavens sake just pick up his underwear when it's left on the floor!

i had a great response to the post and the following comment so resonated with me::

The advice that I have to remind myself is to "be best friends." My husband is the man that I chose to be closest with for the rest of my life, so I have to remember to treat him like my best friend, not a roommate, a handy to-do man, or my pin cushion.

so how can we "be best friends" with our husbands?


1. praise him

be his biggest cheerleader and supporter.  when he dreams, dream with him. encourage him. we have chosen to journey the sometimes difficult road of marriage with this person for our whole lives do it with praise and you will have 41 years, longing for more.

2. show him

think of a way to show love to him every day. my husband goes to work at a craaaaazy hour of the night and one thing i do with great joy is make his coffee and set the timer so it will be ready when he wakes. it's not much, but i do it out of love for him. some other things you could do:

• write him a love note (or send a love filled email).
• leave him a gift card for lunch to his favorite place.
• make his favorite dinner.
• plan a date night.
• buy a special treat like his favorite candy. (i bought my sweet fella a bag of the mini reese cups to surprise him. it was a warm day so instead of a bag of mini reese cups, he got one large melted together reese cup. he was thankful all the same)

:photo:

3. listen to him

women speak more than 16,000 words per day and men speak about 7,000. so obviously we have a lot to say. i personally am never at a loss for words. there is always something to talk about in my book. he, on the other hand, doesn't talk quite like i do. but when he does talk and converse, i listen, engage and hang on every word. ask his opinion about things and more importantly listen to his response. being heard makes us feel valued. so hear him and hear him well ladies.

"it is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages"

-fredrich nietzsche

okay ladies, lets hear how you keep friendship in your marriage?

::thoughts on friendship::

the sound of rushing water soothed as we approached the cabin in the pitch black of night, only our headlights to guide the way.
finally inside, fireplace blazing, pj's on, games commence and laughter emerges.

laughter is healing and breaks down walls.
bonds are built through laughter.
comradery established.
laughter joins hearts and minds, overshadowing insecurities that lurk in the darkness.

friendships treasured.
knowing each other more deeply through shared hugs and conversation.
receiving them whole, in love, no judgement or criticism.
a safe place to be a mom, a wife, a woman.
solidarity.

*linking up with heather for just write

::thoughts on firsts::

:photo:

i love firsts.
beginnings.
fresh starts.
a new year. a new month. a new day.
feels like a clean slate.
the busyness of last month is gone.
new goals have been set.
refocus.
the month of thankfulness.
my One Word celebrated by all.
thankful.
thankful for the blank pages i have been given to fill. i can write beauty and love and grace. i can write justice and forgiveness and simplicity.
these are my pages to fill.
my days to live.
my legacy to leave.

will it point them to Him?


*linking up with heather for just write

:the story::

:

sabbath.
it begins with early morning cries from the boy. our time together has a starting place. he asked for cheerios in a language only mommy can understand. then a follow-up question, always expected, "where's daddy?" this kid is crazy about his daddy.

i start the chocolate chip muffins, a sunday morning ritual of sorts.

then the coffee....always coffee.
while waiting for it to brew strong i mix up cream for topping. my children know this sound and come running for the sweetness left on the beaters. they lick away all that is left and stand with faces covered in sticky goodness.

they not-so-patiently wait for the timer for the muffins to alarm. when it does, each takes their place for the warm-gooey goodness.
they have been served and i have loved serving them.

i sit, finally, coffee in hand.
thoughts about last nights bible reading with eisley flood my mind. the prodigal son and how her bible book pointed out that  jesus told stories so people could know what god is like.

i wonder, does my life tell a story that shows others what god is like?

these are the thoughts that fill my day.
sabbath.


*linking up with heather for life made lovely

:on becoming okay with imperfection::

early morning saturday.
the boy beside me with his little feet barely reaching the edge of the cushion where he sits.
eisley sleeps in from hard play all week.
that sweet man of mine is out camping with friends.

the dryer hums in the background and the house smells like a mixture of marshmallows and fresh brewed coffee.
the floors are dirty. more noticable with the morning light showering in, and the laundry is piled high.

i'm becoming okay with imperfection.
i'm becoming okay with not getting it all done.

i sip my coffee while its hot and breath in Madeleine L'Engle's words of wisdom.
i feel rohen move- another fiesty little girl.
i look forward to three and dream about moments shared.
i soak in this moment, blinking, it's gone.

the floors will be mopped.
the laudry will get done.
but not now.
instead, in this moment, i will praise the slowness.



*linking up with life made lovely

::what makes a happy family::

"A happy family is but an earlier heaven"

-George Bernard Shaw

saturday we took some time to just be a family.
we took a stroll outside, noting the most beautiful blue sky.
we gave ample hugs and kisses.
we shared nilla wafers and chocolate milk.
we watched as the children ran and played and made new friends.
we watched as they discovered.
we encouraged.
we basked in all that is family.

and today......i am thankful.



*linking up with life made lovely

::love looks like...::

Late night chats, head to pillow after the children have fallen asleep. Talking about life, love, politics, religion, simple living and our dreams. Making love takes a new form.


Endurance of the tired child that desperately needs sleep but does not yet understand the goodness of rest.


The giving of one more minute, one more sip of milk and one more peek around the room for monsters.


Grace for one another and others.

Holding hands in the car and as we walk. Always touching. Even if at the end of the day when all energy has been poured out, our feet meet beneath the warmth of our covers saying “I’m here.”


Pictures unending to document this amazing life.


This is what love looks like right now.
What does love look like to you?



*this post was inspired by sarah at emerging mummy*
*linking up at life rearranged  for instafriday*

::what leads to deepest happiness?::

"we are in deepest happiness in the posture of the grateful worship"

-ann voskamp

eyes open as light peeks through the window.
morning brings a new wave of responsibility. a new list of things to do.
a late start never helps slow the day.
throwing back the covers making my way to the shower while my mind fills with all that will have to be accomplished- followed by the overwhelming urge to sleep more.

shower, make-up, ironing, dressing, all to the soothing sound of ocean waves through the monitor. babies sleeping restfully. content. safe with not a care in the world.

then i remember the one i carry.
i sit- thankful.
the to-do list no longer in the forefront of my mind. gratitude takes over.
i count each blessing. each precious gift.
happiness takes over.
i begin my day in grateful worship.


how about you sweet friend? how do you get into grateful worship?

::just because you can, doesn't mean you should::

have you ever had one of those moments where you say..."why didn't i think of that?"
i had one of those this past weekend.
i spent some time with a cherished friend. a wise-beyond-her-years kind of friend. and she breathed wisdom and encouragement into me in a simple statement.
"just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

she said this in response to all the things i have been committing myself to lately.

i am type A personality.
i do things. a lot of things. all the time.
my husband says to me regularly..."just come sit down."
this weekend i realized i am doing too many things.

so i will choose to slow down.
i will choose to live out what i believe.
i will choose to take more time to love my neighbor and teach my children to do the same.
i will choose to nurture friendships and teach my children to do the same.
i will choose to joke and play and grow in my love for jacob so they know what love looks like.
i will choose...

what will you choose today?

::what am i going to do with this?::

"you must feel that quiet sense of serenity that god has called you for this moment. it's humbling." what are you going to do with it?

what am i going to do with this moment?
this day?
this season?

i can do one of two things:

1. i can resent this moment, this season, because it does not look like i hoped it would

or

2. i can embrace this moment, this season as a gift from god meant for great things.

so what's it going to be?


live this day intentionally.

{like peeing in your pants}

photo credit

wishing you a super {HAPPY} saturday!
do what you love!

{are you longing?}

{photo credit}

"be content with what you have;

rejoice in the way things are.

when you realize there is nothing lacking,

the world belongs to you."

-lao-tzu

contentment.

sometimes it's hard to come by.

for me it's not the material things i'm after to fulfill my longings.

no.

for me it's time with my family.

there is not enough of it.

but when i stop focusing on the lack of time i have with my family and

start focusing on the amazing moments we share...i find that lao-tzu is right...

{{the world belongs to me}}

happy friday friends!