November 17, 2011

:: thoughts on marriage [no.2]::

a couple of weeks ago i started a little series: thoughts on marriage where i light heartedly encourage new wives, to live simply, consider the heart and for heavens sake just pick up his underwear when it's left on the floor!

i had a great response to the post and the following comment so resonated with me::

The advice that I have to remind myself is to "be best friends." My husband is the man that I chose to be closest with for the rest of my life, so I have to remember to treat him like my best friend, not a roommate, a handy to-do man, or my pin cushion.

so how can we "be best friends" with our husbands?

1. praise him

be his biggest cheerleader and supporter.  when he dreams, dream with him. encourage him. we have chosen to journey the sometimes difficult road of marriage with this person for our whole lives do it with praise and you will have 41 years, longing for more.

2. show him

think of a way to show love to him every day. my husband goes to work at a craaaaazy hour of the night and one thing i do with great joy is make his coffee and set the timer so it will be ready when he wakes. it's not much, but i do it out of love for him. some other things you could do:

  • write him a love note (or send a love filled email).
  • leave him a gift card for lunch to his favorite place.
  • make his favorite dinner.
  • plan a date night.
  • buy a special treat like his favorite candy. (i bought my sweet fella a bag of the mini reese cups to surprise him. it was a warm day so instead of a bag of mini reese cups, he got one large melted together reese cup. he was thankful all the same)

3. listen to him

women speak more than 16,000 words per day and men speak about 7,000. so obviously we have a lot to say. i personally am never at a loss for words. there is always something to talk about in my book. he, on the other hand, doesn't talk quite like i do. but when he does talk and converse, i listen, engage and hang on every word. ask his opinion about things and more importantly listen to his response. being heard makes us feel valued. so hear him and hear him well ladies.

"it is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages"
-fredrich nietzsche

okay ladies, lets hear how you keep friendship in your marriage?

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words are like honey, sweet to my soul, so feel free to share yours.