::thoughts on motherhood [teaching the power of words]::

as i was loading my groceries on the belt for check-out, a woman in front of me asked
"when is your baby due?"
"march 1st, I replied, 5 more weeks."

the cashier commented, "look at how these girls take care of themselves. i look like her after i eat a big meal."

we laughed together and i discovered that the lady in front of me is expecting two new grandchildren in August. the cashier continued to comment on the cuteness and behavior of the two little ones in tow. that day they truly were awesome during the hour long grocery store excursion. okay okay, i bribed them. i'm 9 months pregnant with two under 5. you do what ya gotta do. amen?

ahem...i left the store feeling encouraged.
words are powerful.
even the most casual of conversations can carry great weight.

this is something i am trying to teach my little ones. eisley
especially as she is nearly five and has a mind of her own. she knows she can choose ugly words to hurt or kind words to encourage. durgin, only two, is just a reflection of the words that float around him. he repeats- not yet realizing words carry either a punch or a hug.

eisley and i love to write notes, send letters and cards.
anytime i sit down to send a card to a friend she joins me to do the same.
it's just one way we can use words for good.

we can praise those we love.
we can encourage those who are hurting.
we can bless those who are sick.
we can bring sunshine into a yucky day.

this is how we use our words for good.
we received this pack of cards from Dayspring and we looked through every single card reading them and talking about who we would send them to. she fell in love with the bright colors and cheeriness of each one. her excitement fueled mine. it was a sweet moment to be shared.

sending cards is just one way i am teaching eisley that kind words are best.
kind words heal.
kind words make those around her happy.

praying this lesson stays deep in her heart as we learn together to use our words for good!


how do you teach your little ones the power of words?

::what friendship looks like::

we hugged and giggled at finally being able to catch up.
we talked for over an hour non-stop about babies, life and the loves of our lives.
we cried and laughed and ooed and ahhed.
we delighted in each others blessings.
we sympathized with each other aches and pains.
we opened our hearts, no judgement, just a welcome platform to stand on.
we asked questions and shared opinions.


i walked away encouraged.
i walked away excited.
i walked away not missing the hour spent.
i walked away anticipating the next time we meet.

friendship at its best.

"a friend is someone with whom i may be sincere. before him i may think aloud."

-ralph waldo emerson

tell me your secret to cultivating friendships?

::thoughts on motherhood [the-I yelled-edition]

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laughter errupted as we shared our short comings and frustrations. she called said, hey, how are you? then for the next two minutes her attention was directed to her children while i sat patiently waiting. this is the life of moms. she returned and said, okay...now where were we?

i said: i was just sitting here thankful at the frustration i heard in your voice. after the day i had yesterday it's nice to know i am not the only one who becomes impatient at times. now if you could just really lose it, maybe yell, and overreact- now that would make me feel much better.

she laughed and confirmed that she had already been down that road.
we all have....er....at least that's what i'm telling myself.

you see i'm not a yeller. it's been something i have taken pride in over the years. i don't yell. i may get firm and louder but i do not yell.

yesterday i yelled.


i do not want my children to see my frustrations. i do not want them to walk around thinking they exhaust mommy. i want to be patient and loving in the midst of chaos.

yesterday i showed my frustrations.


last night as i crawled, literally- this baby bump is super heavy at 35 weeks-into bed with eisley to snuggle and talk, i felt the weight of the days failures. i looked at my doe-eyed girl and said mommy was not patient and kind today. tomorrow, we will start over. i'm sorry.

her response: mommy it's okay that you were....upset (guess that seemed like a safe description of the days events). i still think you're the best mommy in the world."

today, because of her words, her extention of love and grace, i am better. i am more patient and more kind and more loving.

new day.
clean slate.
we all need them from time to time.

press on dear mama's. you are not alone.

*linking up with The Better Mom

::when heartbreak hits::

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i've said before i had the awesome honor of working with teenage girls for a number of years through an in-home bible study. they hold my heart and pull at it's strings with their growing pains. so for {all the single ladies} of gbs...read on.

***************************

i remember it well, the phone call and words passed from him to him to her to me.

unwanted.

that was the message i heard.

unworthy.

that was how i felt.

lies filled my mind as i held letters and sentiments that had previously said otherwise.
did it mean nothing?
did i mean nothing?

it's an ugly road rejection takes us down.
a road of self-doubt and internal destruction.
so let me say dear friend...

you are wanted.
you are worthy.
you are lovely.
you are loved.


and there is a better road ahead.
press on dear friend. press on.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

::thoughts on motherhood [5 tips for cultivating a good attitude in your little ones]::

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1. wake your children with a silly song and give them time to get their insides awake.
durgin, 2 years old, usually wakes and plays in his crib around 7am. he's a happy camper from the first light of day. eisley, nearly 5 years old, is a different story. if she is allowed to wake up on her own she is a happy girl. if i have to wake her, like most week days to get ready for preschool, she does not like that one bit. so as to make her re-entry into reality a bit less harsh i sing silly songs like "the cows get up in the morning" or "this old man" or "you are my sunshine." i open her blinds and let daylight spill in and give her a few more minutes to enjoy the warmth of her bed.

2. breakfast is served with a smile and comments about it not being her favorite are ignored. it's simply the morning grumpies and i have to give her time to come out of them. her bible book follows us to the table and she chooses which story to read while she and durgin enjoy a yummy breakfast. this has been great for me because it calls me to the table. to sit and be still and enjoy my darlings instead of washing dishes and sweeping up and prepping lunch.

3. immediately after breakfast we continue with our morning routine. potty, brush teeth and comb hair, get dressed and put coat and shoes by the door. once these things are out of the way they are free to play until we leave for preschool.

4. i encourage her to reach out to someone different each day at school. we talk about bullies and those that don't have many friends. she watched the Grinch a couple of weeks ago and that has become a reference point for the effects of love on a bully or someone unkind.

5. i make sure to recognize and comment and encourage when i see she is acting out of love. in turn, i give lots of grace when she does not.


what do you do to encourage a loving heart and attitude with your little ones?

::crafty mccrafterson [valentine's day edition]::

i'm a big fan of hoop art and all the fun things you can create using a simple hoop and a couple pieces of fabric. so i thought up a little something that eisley could put together and display during the valentine's season.

step 1.
i cut out a ton of hearts in different sizes from colored felt. i did this during eisley's rest time so all of her supples would be ready to go at craft time.

step 2.
cover your hoop with a piece of felt and lace across the top. easy peasy.

step 3.
bust out the mod podge, paint brush & hearts and let the little one go to town on placement.

step 4.
let dry.

step 5.
i added a few stitches using an embroidery needle & thread just for a little more color.

super fun and easy craft that you can alter to suit your taste.
happy valentine's day!

*linking up for life made lovely &  the better mom

::communion [four year old style]::

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she set-up the tea party during her afternoon rest time, also known as, my work time.
she peeked her head out of her room a number of times announcing the deliciousness that awaited me. her excitement enticed me. i couldn't wait to finish working and enjoy what she had laid out.

i walked in and there was an empty chair with a lamb pillow pet on top  for me to sit on. she informed me that she was sitting on a kitty cat pillow pet. in front of me were tea cups and plates, sprinkles and cupcakes, an orange for her and an apple for me. we talked about the days happenings and then enjoyed our goodies in our best pretend characters.

we realized her friend, an old porcelin doll gifted to her by grandma, had joined us at the table and we had not offered her anything to eat.
where are our manners?
i broke my apple in half and gave our guest a portion and thanked eisley for making enough to share. she broked hers in half and said:

"this food is like god. broken for us."

communion.
eucharist, in its most beautiful form....led by my four year old.

"eucharisteo-thanksgiving-always preceds the miracle"

-ann voskamp

::thoughts on motherhood [down with the expectation of excellence]::

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Dishes piled in the sink. Laundry piled in the hall. Toys strewn from room to room.

It's not the norm in this house. Dishes never rest in the sink, always straight to the dishwasher or hand washing for me. Laundry, well it does remain piled in the basket for days on a regular basis but at least its tucked away out of sight. Toys are always put away before bed so that the floors are completely clear of clutter. Cleanliness lets me breath. It lets me do things I enjoy doing when the children are fast asleep.

Sickness invaded our home this week.....AGAIN!

I managed to do the neccessities like feeding the children and snuggling them every free minute but for the last three days I have spent most of my time on the couch or in the bed and they have spent more time than I care to admit watching movies.

I called a friend yesterday to whine share about the weeks happenings. I went on about how dirty my house has gotten and wondered out loud how people with three, four, and five children manage thier homes. She offered comfort like she always does.

She says, "my christmas tree is still up if that offers any comfort."
We laughed aloud together about the survival of motherhood.

"Just do what you can and let the small stuff go."
"You're just cleaning up to have it dirtied again."

Just a few words of encouragement she threw my way, while she said to her five year old, 
"one minute, I'm on the phone, eating lunch and trying to feed your little brother."

A perfect example of motherhood. We are the ultimate multitaskers. We juggle home, children, church, community, coupons, banking, sports, friendships and let us not forget the man of our dreams that we committed our lives to.

It's overwhelming at times.
Joyful at others.

This is motherhood.

Dirty floors.
Dirty dishes.
Dirty laundry.
But also, baby giggles, races around the kitchen, cars and baby dolls strewn from wall to wall, quarrels and kisses, singing and dancing, love and laughter.

Excellence is not a requirement to be a good mom. I am so thankful for that!

::thoughts on motherhood [the one where i will not say 'i'm a bad mother"]::

we sat, coffee in hand talking about life and the expectancy of new life. it's unimaginable, life before kids. we just cannot remember what we did then, what filled our days.

motherhood changed my world like no other milestone.
i gave birth to that little darling nearly five years ago and knew then that life....i, would never be the same. i knew then that i would do anything to protect her. i would give my life for her.

in those first years i struggled trying to find my way as a mother. desiring to do things differently. i wanted to teach her to be loving by being loving, kindness by being kind, gentleness by being gentle. that was and still is my longing. but there are days where being loving and kind and gentle do not come easy for mommy or anyone else.

i started using the phrase [i'm such a bad mom] to begin descriptive tales of how i had failed my child that day. i said it so much to my best friend, who is the best mom i know, that she started saying it when she failed. one day she looked at me and said:

we are not saying this anymore. our girls are listening to our words. we are not bad moms. we are good moms and we will mess up.


whoa.

she was totally right, on both counts.
i am a good mom.
i will mess up.

recently i said something, carelessly, that crushed my sweet girls heart.
tears rolled and she buried her head in my shoulder.
you hurt my feelings, she said.

it was silly what i said. irrelevant.
the world would have went on without my comment and her spirit would have went uncrushed.
i squeeze her tight and looked right into her sweet blue eyes, wet with tears, and told her i was sorry. her reponse? i forgive you, shrugged shoulders, crooked smile, we're best friends!

lesson learned sweet girl. lesson learned.


mama's have you been there? i'd love to hear your thoughts.

::i thought god was the good guy::

sitting on her bed, tears spilling over eye lashes that melt a mama heart.
we talk about kindness and love.
we talk about choices and free will to treat people as we choose.
i hold her tight, careful with my words.
desperately wanting to speak beauty to her tiny soul.
soon giggles follow and i wipe her tears, slowly, knowing their value.
he bottles them. i will at least acknowledge every one.

she asks to read her bible book and jumps up cheerfully to bring it over to the bed.
she walks like a beauty queen balancing it atop of her head, so proud.
i giggle, grab her up and squeeze her tight telling her she is mighty talented.

her story of choice, the one about the important people and the sinful woman.
she is fasinated that this woman pours tears and perfume on jesus' feet.
she questions why the important people are mad, mad enough to kill jesus.
she then flips the pages to the crucifixion story.

why does jesus stay on the cross when he can come down mama?
i explain how great is his love.

why can't god look at jesus mama?
i explain, trying hard not to regurgitate what has been taught all of my life.
i think hard. choosing words like fragile glass, handling them with care.
i'm not sure how to answer, and i resort to what i've always heard.
jesus takes on all of our bad stuff, that's called sin, and god is perfect and he has no part in sin, so he looks away.

she wrinkles her face to the side, but i thought god was the good guy.

::i'm done with the talk::

in describing myself i would like to say:

i stand up for injustices
i speak out for the oppressed
i feed the hungry
i clothe the poor
i comfort the downtrodden
i offer compassion to those in need
i house the homeless
i mother the orphan

those are the things i am passionate about. those are the things that i think on regularly. i would like to say that i am a person that does all of the above. but the truth of the matter is that for far too long i have simply talked about these things. i talk about the need. i think about the need. but i do nothing to meet the need.

this year my one word will be {ACT}.

i'm done talking the talk. it's time to walk the walk.
it's time to put faith into action, become jesus with skin, to find my own calcutta.

each week i have a place in my planner titled: {ACT OF SERVICE}.
each week i will seek out ways that i can meet the needs of others and serve others in my community. some things i am hopeful to accomplish:

• make a meal for a tired friend
• volunteer at the battered womens shelter
• provide diapers & wipes to the homeless shelter families
• find someone that needs a coat (i'm ashamed to say how many are in my closet right now)
• make cards with the kiddos & deliver them to a local assisted living
• send cards each week
• babysit for someone
• educate myself on social injustices

this year i plan to {ACT}.

what is your one word?

::i wanna go wich you::

i've never seen blue eyes so adoring for one person.
he is his shadow.
he is the first person he asks for when he wakes in the morning.
he is the last person he wants to see before bed at night.
total devotion...that's what my little guy has for his daddy.

when jacob leaves our home there is always pitter patter close behind and words that ring in my ears and cause my heart to explode into a million tiny pieces.

{daddy!!! i wanna go wich you!!}

he wants to go where his daddy goes.
he wants to do what his daddy does.
he wants to be just like his daddy.

oh the lesson to be learned here.

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.

ephesians 5:1 {the message}

::thoughts on motherhood [encouraging creativity in your children]::

:photo source:

creativity:: [kree-ey-tiv-i-tee]::
the ability to transcend traditional ideas, patterns, relationships, or the like, to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc. (source:: www.dictionary.com)

creativity is one thing that i am always nurturing in my children. i love their imaginations and their ability to create worlds only they can see. eisley recently watched the movie Annie and for days i was ms. hannigan and she and all of her stuffed animals were orphans. i heard a lot of "we love you ms. hannigan" and my floors never looked better. as we grow older we forget how fun it is to pretend and create. that's why we get to be parents so our children can remind us.

::encouraging creativity:

• she loves to take pictures! kids want to do what they see their parents doing. so i gave her my camera and told her to take pictures of 5 things around the house of her choosing. once she had all the pictures taken she went to her craft table equiped with blank paper, makers and colored pencils to illustrate what she saw on the screen. she was very enthusiastic about the whole process and it was fun to see her interpretation of the pictures she had taken.

• she loves to tell stories. we make up stories at bedtime many nights. to encourage her story-telling abilities i asked her to create a story and speak it to me as i typed it out. we would read over it and she would add a sentence or two and we would read it again. we giggled at the same parts every time and i was able to explain some basic rules of grammer to her as we wrote. i have saved this story and plan to revisit it and add to it often. the next step will be to illustrate it and create a little book as a keepsake for my four year old artist.

:books on creativity::

• Playful Learning: Develop Your Childs Sense of Joy & Wonder by Mariah Bruehl

• The Creative Family: How to Encourage Imagination & Nurture Family Connection by Amanda Blake Soule

• Make & Take for Kids: 50 Crafts Throughout the Year by Marie LeBaron

what do you do to encourage your childs creativity?