January 23, 2012

::thoughts on motherhood [the-I yelled-edition]



laughter errupted as we shared our short comings and frustrations. she called said, hey, how are you? then for the next two minutes her attention was directed to her children while i sat patiently waiting. this is the life of moms. she returned and said, okay...now where were we?

i said: i was just sitting here thankful at the frustration i heard in your voice. after the day i had yesterday it's nice to know i am not the only one who becomes impatient at times. now if you could just really lose it, maybe yell, and overreact- now that would make me feel much better.

she laughed and confirmed that she had already been down that road.
we all have....er....at least that's what i'm telling myself.

you see i'm not a yeller. it's been something i have taken pride in over the years. i don't yell. i may get firm and louder but i do not yell.

yesterday i yelled.


i do not want my children to see my frustrations. i do not want them to walk around thinking they exhaust mommy. i want to be patient and loving in the midst of chaos.

yesterday i showed my frustrations.


last night as i crawled, literally- this baby bump is super heavy at 35 weeks-into bed with eisley to snuggle and talk, i felt the weight of the days failures. i looked at my doe-eyed girl and said mommy was not patient and kind today. tomorrow, we will start over. i'm sorry.

her response: mommy it's okay that you were....upset (guess that seemed like a safe description of the days events). i still think you're the best mommy in the world."

today, because of her words, her extention of love and grace, i am better. i am more patient and more kind and more loving.

new day.
clean slate.
we all need them from time to time.

press on dear mama's. you are not alone.

*linking up with The Better Mom

4 comments:

  1. Oh, darling. We've all been there, eh? Asking for forgiveness from your children is a beautiful beautiful thing. Thanks for sharing this - I needed to hear it.

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  2. I think you just lived my Saturday in your post! So glad for those quiet moments before bed with our kids & forgiveness! Girl, you're not alone!

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  3. Oh honey we are in this together! These days, what patience I do have sadly seems to get all used up by my fifth graders. Sometimes I literally have to chant in my head on the way home to let the day go...leave school at school. Easier said than done as of late since I've had a crazy stressful situation going on at school. Thankfully my kids are much like your darling daughter...full of grace and forgiveness. As is our Heavenly Father. Oh how they teach me more everyday!

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words are like honey, sweet to my soul, so feel free to share yours.