:the one where our days are not wasted:

a weekend away, forced disconnect, can put a gal right back where she needs to be. green cove, virginia, where cell phone signals go to die and wi-fi is still something to be desired. yet the trees virbant with color- reds, oranges, yellows- all different shades, are a perfect replacement for the hustle and bustle of every day life.

we walked under rain kissed trees, coffee in hand, for what seemed like miles. just around the bend guys, just around the bend, he kept saying. finally we made it to the view that he wanted for us. the one that stood us over the world. the one that whispered peace and yelled glory all at the same time. i would have enjoyed it more, i'm certain, if i hadn't had that full cup of coffee on the way up.

i snapped tons of pictures by that big red barn. the kind of background that no matter how wretched you look, due to misty skies and wet pastures, makes everything beautiful.

we gathered around the fire as it blazed hot in the cool night sky. competing for attention with the rushing creek in the background. we shared a blanket and stories and laughter. man did we share laughter.

laughter bonds.

talks of movies, actors and other mindless chatter took us well into the night, finally crawling into bed after 1am, some after 3am, waking at 7am and never missing a beat.

 

 

"the most wasted of all days is one without laughter"

-e.e. cummings


*just writing with heather today

:the one where we are building community:

you never know how things like this will go. a mixture of people from different walks of life coming together. my control freak type-a personality had me racing to the grocery store, in the pouring rain, and around the house getting everything in order before their arrival. busy is good for the introvert. i tend to forget i'm an introvert when i am engrossed in cooking and cleaning.

in an act of solidarity to mothers everywhere i chose not to clean my floors for this event. no one seemed to notice, or they were too polite to mention it.

with staggered arrival we had time to greet and introduce all of our friends to one another. some had met before, some had not. though by the time we said goodnight, it felt as though we had all been friends forever.

we gathered around our table, bought with the intention of just this. nine collectively, tucked tight, shoulder to shoulder, yet not an inconvenience in sight.

stories and laughter filled the room.
friendships formed.

at the end of the night we said our goodbyes, sending each guest home with a tiny pumpkin. a symbol of our gratitude for their part in our story.

 

 "My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?"

-Donald Miller

:the one where i confess the ugly:

last night i went to hear kathy escobar share her story. her smile radiates love and she bubbles over enthusiasm at the downward path, the road less traveled. the ugly-messy-beautiful road. the one of addiction to greatness and addiction to substance. both are crippling. both in need of acceptance and community.

kathy expressed the anger she experienced towards the church and her journey of rocking the boat.

as her words rolled out in her true california accent i felt a stirring in my soul. the truth is i'm angry at the church. not the body of christ but that church. the one that sent out the letter that shattered my heart into a million pieces. the one that told my friend he could not go before the church to publically apologize for mistakes made because that wouldn't look good. the one that told that fifteen year old boy he couldn't come back to youth group. the one that punished that girl for getting pregnant again.

 

 

 

When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” matthew 9:11-13

 

the church is no longer welcoming for the sick and broken hearted. it has become a haven for the better and the best. there is no room for failure. you must look your best, serve your best and be your best at all times.

 

what happens when addiction creeps in?

what happens when marriages are in trouble?

what happens when someone gets pregnant?

 

more times than not, it is swept under the rug or pushed out the door.

 

 

i'm guilty of hiding the pain, the past and avoiding those that expose it. it's hard to hear hurt, even harder to embrace it. yet that is consistently what jesus did.

While jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw jesus he fell and begged him, Lord if you are willing, you can make me clean. Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said, "Be clean!" luke 5:12-13

i read those words to eisley this week. i explained the cultures response to leprosy at that time. i explained that the man probably had not been able to go to church because he was considered unclean. her blue eyes welled with tears and she spoke the most profound words,

"mommy, if you had leprosy and couldn't go to church, i wouldn't go either."

jesus went down to the sick and hurting.
let it be so in my life.



 

 

 

 

::thoughts on marriage::

:photo:

what feels like a lifetime ago i hosted a community girls bible study in my home. girls came from all around to eat, play games, hang out and learn about jesus. it was a special time in my life. it was a time to give them what i did not have at their age. a safe place to be themselves.

the first time i went to youth sunday school no one welcomed me except the teacher which was one of my classmates dad. can we say obligation? i was a shy, introverted, awkward kid and treated as such. except by a few select boys that were my friends from school which did not help my situation when it came to the girls in the class. oh and please don't think it was because i was pretty and competition for them. i wasn't...either of those things. i had braces and was in that transition phase of having the top of my mouth widened, ya know with the key you turn every night. so i had rather large and unattractive gap between my already crooked teeth. i apparently hadn't looked in the mirror in months because in my school picture, i can now look back on and laught at, i had a perm that started about midway down my head due to non maintenance. so needless to say i did not become the most popular girl in youth group. i actually hated youth group.

so with that said....community girls bible study was a place that anyone and everyone could come and be welcomed. i loved those girls and they loved me. i respected them and shared their burdens and helped them sort through their drama. it felt like, and still does, just yesterday that i was in their shoes, going through the same struggles. i could relate.

several of those girls that attended have graduated high school, college and are now married and a few have children.

since i am a lifestage ahead of these girls i thought i would share a few things with the newlyweds that may encourage them in this season of their lives.

:photo:

1. live simply.
you will be tempted to buy a new car, new furniture, new everything. you just will. it's called instant gratification and our society has been saturated with the idea that you must have whatever you want RIGHT NOW. it's a lie. you don't. i promise you will be happier if you will save save save. jacob and i lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment and bought second hand furniture when we were first married and it was wonderful. it was a lovely start to our lives together. also, read organized simplicity by tsh oxenreider for great perspective on living simply.

2. consider the heart.
did your new husband just say something stupid that either cut straight to the heart or totally ticked you off? yeh that. ignore it. ask yourself, was his intent to cause me harm? if the answer is no, and it most likely is, just ignore it and know that you are loved.

we were with friends a few weeks ago and the wife made the comment about not being able to lose weight (although she totally doesn't need to- she looks like a model- seriously...and yes i'm talking to you-serious eyes). ahem, anyway, the husband says something like" if you would just... blah blah blah."  jacob and i both looked at each other and simultaneously said something like "dude! what are you doing?" he's a super guy. loves his wife. doesn't care if she loses weight (again she doesn't need to) but he just spoke without thinking. we all do it. excuse it and move on. life will be sweeter if you do.

3. if his underwear is in the floor just pick it up.
i don't know why but men just like to leave their underwear, and other articles of clothing, on the floor, or chair, or windowseat. geez. yes, it drives me bonkers too. and yes, i occasionally say something like, "babe! i pick up after the children i shouldn't have to pick up your stuff too." but then i pick it up anyway and either put it away or give it to him and move on. afterwards realizing the moments following would have been  much sweeter without saying a word. in the broad scheme of things does it really matter? just pick up his draws (is that how you would spell it?) and move on. don't waste precious moments of your life together on petty matters.


this concludes todays lesson on being newly married.

please add your thoughts and humor if you like.