:thoughts on motherhood // baking blessings:

daily i wrestle with the calling to live like jesus and what that should look like in my current season of motherhood. a big part of me wants to sell everything we own and move to a different country and care for orphans. rescuing children and women from sex trafficking calls to me. there is a place in my heart that mourns for those consumed by addiction. a constant nagging resides deep, calling me to radical love.

yet here i am, mother to three. so what does living out the radical love of jesus look like as a mother of three? i'm on the journey of finding out.

right now it looks like cookies to the neighbors. artwork for the librarians. canned goods for the local food pantry. diapers for the battered women's shelter. change collected to buy mosquito nets for kids in other countries. we use what we have to bless those we encounter. sometimes that looks like pumpkin bread to a friend whose dad is battling cancer.

my mama heart longs to give my little ones skills that they can use to bless others. on this particular day we explored the art of baking.

i made my way around the kitchen as she took full control of her project and i let go of my need to control messes. i looked on as our boy played sharks in the sink and the little one stood at our feet, curls blazing, starring up in admiration. the sound of the mixer gave me a feeling of nostalgia. maybe it was the wishing that she will have that same feeling as she grows remembering this very moment, who knows.

once the bread was placed in the oven, the kitchen cleared as they ran outside to play. i quietly wiped the flour dusting from the counter saying prayers over little hearts. washing the dishes instantly became worship, realizing, though it is small, it is radical. THIS is living out the radical love of jesus. raising little ones to love well and love big. teaching them that there is no blessing too small to give when given from the heart.