September 5, 2013

thoughts on motherhood // on letting them be themselves

they like to wear socks around the house so they can pretend they are ice skating. slippery socks, they call them. they glided across the floor as i made my way, baby on hip, to the changing table. i called to them to put on their shoes so we could run errands. i found myself pleasantly surprised when they met me at the door with first time obedience, shoes on feet, ready to go. then i noticed- the socks. her blue christmas socks with a cheesy santa printed multiple times, paired with her new sparkly shoes and her pink dress.

i said, baby, you don't want to wear your socks, it's hot outside.
which really meant, baby, you don't want to wear your socks because they look silly with your shoes and dress and people will think i was okay with you dressing this way. and mommy is prideful and too often cares about silly things like that.
yes i do mommy, they look good, was her reply.

part of me wanted to tell her they did not match and did not in fact, look good. 
part of me wanted to give her a quick lesson in fashion.
part of me wanted to tell her that the world will look at her funny.
part of me wanted to tell her that her being mismatched makes others look at me differently as a parent.

i smiled and patted her on the back in affirmation as we went out the door.

there will come a day where she begins to doubt her value. she will wrestle with the hard moments bringing her confidence into question. there will come a day when she learns about style and matching and keeping up with the jones'. there will come a day where she will decide whether or not to conform to societies expectations.

today will not be that day.

child run wild in your blue socks and sparkly shoes.
feel the breeze in your hair, tangled for days.
delight in the dirt between your toes.
embrace the creativity found in disarray.
be young and silly and uninhibited.
laugh loud and keep speaking to everyone you meet even when they don't speak back.
keep blessing others with your artwork.
dance your heart out never looking around to see who's better or worse.
be friendly.
be a blessing.
be yourself.
always, be yourself, for you are a gift, just as you are.


  1. This post made me tear up. Beautifully said, as always, my friend.

  2. This is great! Mine are always putting on the quirkiest things but I know they've got to learn who they are and if a fuzzy slipper with frilly socks makes them feel pretty than let it be. Its more fun anyways. :)

  3. Lovely. As always. Its funny- I'm always TOTALLY ok when my kids want to wear something crazy out of the house that's so over the top that everyone will know that my preschooler picked it. We've left the house many a time with mittened hands in summer, capes on, etc. and I fully encourage it. But when its just something subtle, like a t-shirt and shorts that obviously don't go together, THAT's what I really have a hard time with because, "oh my word, people will think I dressed my child like that." Definitely a prideful thing I need to work on!

  4. Reading this... Man, I feel like the last bit is meant for my Charlotte... May their lively little spirits live on forever.... Continue to celebrate life sweet girl...


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