:on letting them win:

pants get wet, pants come off. this kid, lover of trains and cars and motorcycles. bulldozers, excavaters and cranes make him giggle with joy. he's much like the witch from wizard of oz when it comes to water. Not. The. Water. a pool he loves. a bath is his rainy day request. let one drop of water land on this kids clothes and it's the end of the world.

he took off on his bike around the path while we sat on the bench chatting. the bench, the glorious bench, a mom's place at the park. a moment of respite and conversation with friends. so i sit, only for a minute. then i see him go to the creek.

okay, he's at the creek.
i can see him, he's fine.
wait. where's his bike?

i make my way over, baby girl in tow, while eisley zooms around me on her super-fast-barbie-bike. she's wearing shorts for the first time this season and i notice how long her legs have gotten. adventure leads her with the wind pushing her along.

once i reach the creek i notice the little guy has thrown his bike, handlebars first, into the water. socks and shoes are afloat and his shorts are soaked. i fuss a little about taking care of our things and maybe not throwing the bike into the creek next time.

we stick around the creek, the other kids join in and hop from one rock to the next. they know the risk. it's worth it. before long all three boys are pant less, running around in t-shirts and underwear. they stomp and splash and grin the grin that says, this is the life.

the little guy has to make a potty break so we take off across the field to the restroom. he looks over at me, blonde hair tousled in the breeze, blue eyes sparkling and says, lets race! he begins to run with all his might. stretching his short little legs as far as they will go he looks over and says, i'm gonna win! mama will you let me win? 

all of the words i have read in books comes washing over me. don't give your children false confidence or when they are older the world will crush them. i think to myself, i will let him win every single time BECAUSE at some point the world will crush him. in those moments when the world hangs heavy i want him to remember i let him win a silly little race because i delight in him, not his ability to outrace me. there will be plenty of days in the coming years when i won't have to let him win. he will win all on his own, but for now, this is my gift to him.

he touched the door first and acknowledged his victory. i jumped and clapped and declared him champion.

day made.

*just writing with heather