The alarm buzzes at 5:20am. I reach for the snooze button through squinted eyes so not to wake baby girl. The warmth of the bed holds me back so I turn to snuggle with the one that creeps in after I fall asleep. She feels safe here. She reaches out for butterflies and giggles in her sleep. A warm reminder of my childhood when I could be found walking the halls, turning off fans and on lights for our house guests.
By six I crawl out of bed and fill the kettle with water while looking out the kitchen window soaking in the morning. A whisper of gratitude and a glance at the chalkboard draw me to Him. Sandwich making and ironing fill the silence. Little ways I choose to show him love. He doesn't ask or expect. I pour his coffee and mine and we meet. Sometimes on the porch. Sometimes on the couch.
The tiny one stirs and he greets her with morning kisses. She's fed and snuggled. Five months now, and finally rolls emerge. She came into this world like a whirlwind but is as peaceful as the day is long. Frustrated by tummy time she quickly learned to roll to her back in her sweetest, I'll show you, fashion. Daily I watch her discover this big wide world with her trusty wide-world-discoverer, full of saliva, gums and not a single tooth.
A text put things in perspective.
News of a pregnancy with a negative prognosis. I hold Rohen close, walking around the chair in the living room, praying aloud. How do you pray? What do you pray? I struggle for words and find comfort that He speaks for me. Comfort that He uses both miracles and loss. Comfort that though there are no words for the mother bearing this burden, He knows fear. He will walk with her.
Revelation for another friend, a call to something great. Something she was destined for since birth. She will walk the road of recovery and healing with loved ones. This is her call. She has been conditioning for it her entire existence. He will walk with her.
Baby girl goes down for morning nap and I hold the big kids close and read books aloud. They ask questions and explore through stories. Isn't that what we are all doing? Asking questions, living a story and learning lessons along the way?
What will our story look like today?
"the story made us different characters than if we'd showed up at the ending an easier way. it made me think about the hard lives so many people have had, the sacrifices they've endured, and how those people will see heaven differently from those of us who have had easier lives.". -donald miller, a million miles in a thousand years