::don't be an ass::

you've heard the cliche phrase :

"you know what happens when you assume...wink-wink, nudge-nudge..it makes an ass out of you and me."

it's trite but totally true.
we all make them.
but we shouldn't.

assumptions hurt.
assumptions fuel insecurities.
assumptions lead to judgement.
assumptions lead to wrong conclusions.
assumptions are unneccessary.

so how do we avoid this path of destruction paved by assumptions?

ask questions:

instead of overanalyzing what you think you heard or read (the written word can be seriously harmful) just clarify. what did you mean by that statment?

consider the heart:

does the person you are interacting with care for you? are their intentions to come across harsh or unkind? is this just part of their personality? if the answer is yes to any of those questions then simply excuse their comments. give grace.

remember it's all in perspective:

we all have different perspectives on life and circumstances based on our personal experiences. so it's best in a stressful situation that could be misinterpreted to consider that you each may have different perspectives.

i love the book rainbow fish. at one point eisley knew the entire book word for word. i think it is a beautiful example of sharing what we have with others. however, one day i engaged in a conversation with someone who did not care for the book because she felt it was a terrible lesson that taught kids they have to buy friendships. interesting perspective that i had never considered.

we are unique beings. so our takes on things will frequently be different than the people around us.

look at the big picture:

in the broad scheme of things, does this matter? does this have a place in the legacy i am creating?

excuse:

whenever possible excuse and overlook. just let it roll off your shoulders and move on.  as ann voskamp said in her book 1000 gifts: "expectations kill relationships."

::you might NOT be a christian if::

***

I had an encounter with a man last year that has kind of rocked my world. He witnessed to me. He was pushy and aggressive and was not content with any of my answers to his ridiculous questions that were supposed to prove that I was indeed heaven bound.



No good came from the conversation. I left frustrated for having been cornered by a man that seemed to have no concern for my spiritual well-being. I left feeling like I was a conquest. A notch on his belt.


However, this encounter started the following thought process.


My relationship with my awesome husband, Jacob, is special and unique. We have a relationship that is unlike any other. No one else has a relationship with Jacob that looks like my relationship with Jacob. He is mine. I love him. I cherish him. I appreciate things about him that no one else can appreciate. We have inside jokes. He knows what I am going to say before I say it. We have special memories that only we share. For instance, there is this one song that makes me smile when it comes on because it takes me to a happy place...a moment of silliness that we shared. {I bet he could tell you what song I'm referring to if you asked him}.


If someone came along and told me that my relationship was not real or genuine or in depth because my relationship with Jacob doesn't look like their relationship with Jacob, I would be very upset. Livid even. Because I know how much I love Jacob. How I long to know him more every day. How I go out of my way to make him happy; to spend time with him.


But no one would do that, would they? That would be...


Over-the-top.
Out-of-line.
Obnoxious.
Intrusive.
Obsurd.


So why would our relationship with Jesus be any different? Why does one persons relationship with Jesus have to look like another? Peter's relationship with Jesus did not look like Mary's relationship…you know, with the denial and all, yet they both loved Jesus very much and Jesus loved them in return.


It makes me think of Jeff Foxworthy {i know, i know...where am i going with this right? Jesus....Jeff Foxworthy???}


But he did that whole stand-up routine:
"You might be a redneck if..."


In this respect it would be:
"You might NOT be a christian if..."


you don't read your bible every single day
you don't pray on your knees for at least an hour
you don't attend church every time the doors are open
you read certain versions of the bible
you watch certain shows
you read certain books
you listen to certain music
you dance
you drink certain beverages
you vote a certain way
you ask questions about faith
you doubt
you go certain places
you are friends with certain people


One person's relationship may not look like everyone else’s.
and that's okay.


[Relationship :: connection, association, involvement]


One persons’ connection, association and involvement with Jesus is not going to look like another persons connection, association and involvement with Jesus…


and that is okay.