:thoughts on motherhood [love is patient, love is kind]:

i use this chalkboard to write their bible verse for the week. their verse. it's for them to learn and apply. them. not me.

he has breakfast around 7:30am, usually cheerios and an orange. his requests for snack begins about  8:30am and continues until 10:30am when i finally give it to him. he asks for a piece of toast with apple butter. i agree. he gobbles it up as i look on in delight and think there there little one. you were just hungry you precious blue eyed darling. five seconds after he is finished with his toast he asks for moooooooore breaaaaaad. i tell him no, in my sweetest mommy voice, informing him we will be having lunch shortly. he screams. he cries. he pleads. he wakes baby girl. help me jesus.

he takes a time out in his chair in the hall and i take one at the dining room table. i choose that chair, the one that faces their verse. i take a sip of my luke warm coffee, because what mother ever actually drinks hot coffee. amen? amen. i notice the verse. the one i wrote so carefully. pink for the word love, yellow for the other words and a pink cloud around it all for emphasis. love is patient. love is kind.

love is patient.
deep breath.
love is kind.
exhale.

our battle did not end when i took that deep breath but my frustration did.

reminded of the times i dug my heels in determined to have what i wanted or die trying. the times i thought i knew what was best and did anything to have my way. like that one time when my mom told me i couldn't see that boy anymore. didn't she know she was totally ruining my life. sixteen year olds are soooooo dramatic. i saw him anyway. of course i did. i was going to have my way. that is until Grace stepped in and rescued me like only Grace can and i stopped playing childish games and learned to play the right kind.

oh little one, if you weren't born into sin you could blame me. that stubborn heart. the will of wills. sweet child. i will be patient. i will be kind. Grace will see us through.

:the best things in life:

she had long blonde hair. so long you imagine it never touched by scissors. a plain jane, this one, but lovely still. she sat in that corner metal chair rarely embarrassed to share her thoughts. somewhat adamant about her opinions. one encounter stands out in my mind though from many years ago. she came into sunday school and said the night before she bagged up nearly half of her belongings to donate. she said she had to, she felt so guilty about having so much when others had so little.

i stood there and thought, she's nuts. why would you bag up your stuff. i mean i know there are people who have less than me but i'm not giving away half of my stuff. who in the world would expect that of me?

***

i made a list in a pretty little notebook. a sucker for cute notebooks and great writing pens. every single room detailed of its excess. things to trash. things to donate. things to sell. room by room , purging. decluttering. though my mission is not spurred by guilt but by neccessity. less things mean less clutter. less clutter means less places for dirt to collect which means less cleaning for me. less clothing means less washing. less stuff means less distractions.

less cleaning, less washing and less distractions means more play, more snuggles, more adventures and more laughter with my family.

those little ones, they are watching. they know what's important to me by where i spend my time and resources. there is a good chance that i will rear children that are somehwat like me. if i think of people more highly than things, maybe they will too. if i use our resources to bless those around us, maybe they will too. if i place value on family and memories made rather than shopping and things obtained, maybe they will too.

the best things in life, aren't things at all, are they?