:thoughts on motherhood // on having their backs:

she walked in slowly, unsure, shy even. i'm not used to this side of her. my happy-go-lucky, never meets a stranger girl, being timid. i asked what number she stands on so i could pick a chair with the best view. number eleven, she said with confidence. i offered to take her coat but she held onto it for a bit, saying it was always so cold in there.

i kept waiting for the moment she would run off and giggle with the other girls, but she didn't. she watched carefully and stayed by my side playing rock-paper-scissors. we giggled and made silly faces when the other person won. finally the instructor called the dancers to order and she ran off to find her place. 

my heart flooded with pure joy as i watched my little dancer practice positions and her role in the upcoming nutcracker recital. she is a mouse with the rest of her class. i have never seen a crinkled nose so adorable. she danced and twirled and made every effort to point her toes and keep her knees straight like a proper ballerina. 

from time to time she would look over her shoulder to find me. i would nod and smile the smile of approval. the one that says, you're doing great and i've got your back. she smiled a knowing smile and returned to position. 

the realization of how much we need others is falling fully on this mama heart. she needs me. i need them. we all need Him. these are the moments that we get to live out the radical love of jesus. moments of supporting, encouraging, watching, listening and often just being present. my life prayer is that i will be the living expression of god's kindness to my little ones and those i encounter. 

"let no one ever come to you without leaving better & happier. 

be the living expression of god's kindness; kindness in your face

kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile."

-mother teresa 

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