June 3, 2013

:Tales of Motherhood // by Christa Maney:

Motherhood is not meant to be ventured alone. We were made for community- rejoicing in victories, embracing defeat- yet never alone. As one who finds new life in the stories of others I have invited a few mama's that have walked or are walking this path of motherhood to join us in this space. My hope is that you will find encouragement today- in this moment, right where you are.

Please welcome my sweet friend Christa. I was introduced to Christa by our friend Alison a couple of years ago. We both have an Eisley and a Rohen as well as a love for handmade, homeschool and Jesus.  We were instant friends and have relished in the blessing of walking this journey of messy motherhood together. You will find encouragement in her words today. 

It's so funny how things work out sometimes. Here I am writing about my journey of motherhood after a week from...not a fun place. Maybe I needed the perspective I gained from raging at my children over meaningless things (please, I hope I gained perspective), maybe I needed to feel extra grace and forgiveness and love from Jesus (always true), and maybe it was just a bad week that will grow and strengthen me as a mom (let's pray so).

Before I get going too far I suppose I should introduce myself. I'm Christa and I live in North Carolina
with my wonderful bearded husband and our three wee chickens. We have one on the way due around Halloween. I'm super excited to have another squishy lovey to kiss on and smell.

I'm so honored Melissa asked me to share my thoughts on motherhood and my own winding journey. The path has certainly been wrought with challenges and some turns took me to ugly places in my heart. Thankfully, there have been some amazingly beautiful fields of wildflowers along the way too, even if they did seem like the blink of an eye.

I have learned to embrace the knobby trees and dense forests because the path doesn't end and new places come along. The hard and uncomfortable spots allow me to experience so much more thankfulness and joy when streams and painted birches come into view. 

I can't tell you how many times I wrote and deleted this post. Well, I probably could. I mean it was under seven times. I just wanted it to be from my heart, what I have truly learned. The real impressions left there after I clear away the emotion and day to day life. I think this is it. It's not eloquent or
perfect, but it's what I have discovered to be true.

Here's my heart on motherhod. We are not alone, even if we feel like it.

We should not be alone on our journey. We need support and love and community. We need people to be real with us, but also people to just love us. We need hugs, but also nudges and pushes. We need people we can unload and process with, who understand our words spewed all over their lap and the floor. Other moms who are able to pick up those words and describe exactly how we feel because they've been there too. Women who are able to read between the lines and get to the root of what we are trying to say amidst our frustration.

Motherhood is not easy, but it is one of the most amazing things I've ever done. We are not the only ones to make, what we feel like, is the worst decision EVER with our kids. Keep it in perspective, always. Reach out, be vulnerable with trustworthy people and with your kids (with discretion). Others need us just as much as we need them, really. I read Psalm 66:20 the other day and all I could do was give a “Yes! Thank YOU!” It says,

“Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!” 

How many times have we sent prayers up in desperation feeling far from our kids and our Maker?

We are going to have really not so good days. All of us. We are also going to have really amazing days! All of us. Those days it's easy to feel the connection with our sweet loves and our God. Sadly we judge at some point and are judged. In the end though, the only person who is able to say whether or not we are a good mother is the Lord. And maybe our kids too. Maybe. :) That's it. And guess what?! When God sees us, it's with the blood of Jesus over us and His son's arm around us. It's with complete love and acceptance and forgiveness and when we allow Him to change us, He will use whatever avenue He needs. Geez, if motherhood isn't a path to change then I don't know what is. 

I say this because I do struggle with feeling like a good mom. Is there anyone out there who hasn't at some point? If there is, then I don't think I want to be her friend. Just kidding! Kind of. No, I am. Maybe.

A vulnerable heart is a changeable heart and one that is able to let the Lord heal and restore and move us forward. And don't we all need that? The best news ever is that Jesus loves us and our kids do too.

They are so amazingly resilient. I'm so thankful that for whatever reason, kids do not have many memories before 3 or 4. It's like God knew that us mothers would need that knowledge. We are forever learning to be a parent, but the early years can be such a challenge as we are getting our feet wet for the first time or the second, third or fourth time with a new child, So much learning and rethinking and readjusting and crying and rejoicing and PRAYING. Thank God for the Holy Spirit that leads and guides us, gives us wisdom and discernment, and reveals things to our hearts and minds at just the right times. The seasons of motherhood change, but at the root of it all is learning to love and love well.

I'd also say learning how to be loved well. We need each other, we need Jesus. Some people feel being a parent is about your kids, but honestly, I think it's about our hearts. I think it's about learning to be the people the Lord has called us to be and our children get to be a part of that. In turn, we get to be a part of their growing into who they are meant to be. How awesome! And let's be honest, frustrating at time times. We all have our journeys and learning together with the people you love most sounds great to me.

I know this is a bit disjointed and raw, but I hope you were encouraged in at least some small way! I
love what Melissa says at the beginning of each Motherhood post, 

Motherhood is not meant to be ventured alone. We were made for community- rejoicing in victories, embracing defeat- yet never alone.” 

Know you are never alone on this path. We are all in this thing together. 

*linking up with carissa for miscellany monday


  1. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing, Christa! Blessed my heart this morning, my friend. :)

  2. Thanks for your words to all of us mothers!! It is comforting to hear how we are not alone & encouraging for us to share the struggles & victories together!


words are like honey, sweet to my soul, so feel free to share yours.