:on hanging on & letting go:

let go of her.

please do not jump on the furniture.

no yelling.

do not throw that again.

use kind words.

who's going to be my peacemaker?

after repeating these phrases numerous times and storing so many toys in time out i lost count, i pulled out some paints and paper for the little ones as a buffer of sorts. change in direction, much needed. while they immersed themselves in color and creativity, i opened my graph lined composition notebook and began writing. messy, hardly legible, pouring out. 

as eisley doodled little fairy girls, with curly-cue hair, durgin drove his cars on a freshly drawn road, complete with trees, lakes and stop signs. peace fell heavy as pen scratched paper. eisley must have heard the sound, for she asked, what are you doing mama? 

i stopped writing and looked into her big, round eyes and said, this is my journal. this is where i write what's on my heart. i read an entry aloud telling of how she shared with her brother unprompted and blessed him in a special way. i explained that i write the hard things too, like when i yell or mess up as a mommy. she looked me straight in the eyes and said,

             "hang onto the good, let go of the bad."

a smile made it's way across my face, as my heart filled up with joy. she gave me a knowing look. the kind that understands she just made my day. then she shrugged shoulders, like what, no big deal and returned to her art.

so today, let us hang onto the good, letting go of the bad. 

*just writing with heather