May 1, 2012

::what He whispers when my soul is weary::


the tiny one was restless all night, up before the sun at 5am for feeding. we snuggle and i look deep into her navy blue eyes, bonding. welding my heart to hers for eternity. a full belly and snuggles are her deepest needs at this moment. i am mommy and these needs are met.

my big girl has been fearful lately. darn you bad dreams. i relate to this fear stirred by dreams. my mind wanders to the stretch of time that i ran the little guy no more than an inch of bath water due to a dream that i could have sworn was reality. the one that woke me, sobbing and haunted me for months.

bare feet tapped the hard woods as she ran to the kitchen where i was making coffee, strong, through sleep filled eyes, ecstatic that she had made it through the night in her own bed, unafraid. 5:30am on the microwave clock. i explained the time and how she usually sleeps for at least two more hours. her longing to be near me pulled on my mama heart strings. to the couch with a blanket she goes.

i long for solitude.
i stake my claim on the wee morning hours as "me time."
time to refresh my sleep deprived soul. time to meet with Him. time to be filled so i can overflow.

this time i long for, invaded by my two precious girls.
i encourage more sleep for both of them knowing the value of a good-nights-sleep. the kind i fear i may never have again. i think grace. these are the moments i am challenged to give grace so i share my frustrations with god.

don't they know i neeeeed this time to be a good mommy?

and He speaks gently to my heart-

these are the moments that make you a good mommy.


*just writing with heather today

4 comments:

  1. Absolutely beautiful. Thanks for the tears and sweet reminder this morning.

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  2. Oh so true, I type quiety as to not wake my own children, longing for this quiet time alone.

    Steph

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  3. How wonderful it is to have some time alone with ourselves and knowing that Someone up there count not how short that time was but how wonderful we felt afterwards.

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  4. Very tender, and a good reminder. I often find myself weary of the "intrusions" into my precious and limited quiet time, it's good to remember these aren't intrusions at all.

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