::the one where i love them well::

some days i come out of the stalls full force ready to win the race.
breakfast with love notes in place? check.
good attitude due to more than five hours of sleep? check.
a full heart from time with god? check.
plans in place? check.
house clean? check.

some days i stumble out of bed, dragging, searching for coffee through sleep filled eyes. wondering how i will ever make it through the day let alone meet the needs of three, count them, three little ones.

it seems too much at times. i feel like that sixteen year old girl all over again. the one that is still trying to figure things out. the one that is unsure and unsteady. the one that is insecure and searching. fumbling and flailing. looking for someone else to lead.

yet here i am, thirty-four, with three precious babes trusted to my care, looking to me to show them the way.
i am mama. and it is my privilege to love them well.

i love them with food for their bellies. i know their favorite- chocolate chip pancakes, made by yours truly. the ones odd shaped and nearly see through. appearance is none of their concern. they only care how many chocolate chips are in each one and will voice their complaints of too little at times.

i love them with snuggles on the couch. they like to be shoulder to shoulder and sharing a blanket. sometimes we read fancy nancy or nemo and i do my best impressions of each character. sometimes we watch a movie like charlotte's web or cindarella or cars. it isn't the activity they love it's the nearness of mama.

i love them with silly songs and stories from childhood. they want to know what i was like as a kid. they want to know if i went to school. if i had a best friend. if i played in the woods. if i was ever stung by a bee. if i had ever seen a snake. if i had a garden. if i played in the pool. if i went to the beach. if i walked on the moon. they want to know me and i want to know them.

i love them with trips to the park and the bounce houses and starbucks for a chocolate milk treat.

i love them with play dates and sleep overs with their friends.

i love them with creativity. painting and play dough. moon sand and markers. crayons and coloring books. sidewalk chalk and silly string. sewing and singing.

i love them with a roof overhead, a warm bed and clothes in their closet and discussions of the importance of people, not things.

i love them with grace, grace and more grace. and they love me the same way.

love and love well.

"love begins at home, and it is not how much we do, but how much love we put into that action."

-mother teresa