::thoughts on mothering {kissing edition}::

:photo:

yesterday i heard the words come out of my FOUR YEAR OLD daughters mouth that i thought i wouldn't hear for at least another 10 years (of course hoping for 20).

"i kissed a boy on the playground today."

what. the. heck. (i thought to myself)

first response: eyebrows up, typical mommy face, followed by, you did what?

"i kissed a boy on the playground today."

why?

cause he likes me and i like him.


again. what. the. heck.

you see... we do not encourage boyfriend-girlfriend mushy stuff. we want her to be a kid while she is a kid with no thought for kissing and such until the time is appropriate....when she's 30!!!!

okay okay, regroup.

we don't kiss boys eisley.

yes i can. if i like them i can. (honestly, where does she get this stuff?)

no, no you can't. that's not appropriate and i don't want you doing that (eyebrows still up, followed by dead stare).

then in the back of my mind i hear gravel spinning as the punk teenage guy that i liked  at 16 years old was leaving my house. this was after coming to collect his birthday present that i spent my hard earned money on and he didn't even thank me.

to which my mother says: you are not to see him anymore.
to which i respond from behind tears, with all the drama of a daytime soap opera,  yes i can!!
the following day i saw him and many after that. i didn't even like him anymore. she was right. he was a jerk but that ol' rebellious spirit encouraged my will to be lived out.

YIKES!


so later eisley and i sit on the couch side-by-side.

mind you i have been praying to myself all evening on how i should handle this. i know you are probably thinking it's not that big of a deal, it's just kids kissing on the playground. and you might be right.

then i remember sitting at the lunch table in the 6th grade while all my friends who have kissed, and french-kissed at that, are telling me to practice on my hand so i'll know what to do. so there i am in the middle of the lunch room making out with the side of my thumb.

so, ahem, back to the couch.
take #2.

eisley, i want you to save your kisses.

why, mommy?

because one day you will meet someone like daddy that you will love like mommy loves daddy and you will want all of your kisses for him.

i could see her processing.

that's when i started tickling her all over and said: you'd better save those kisses. don't you give my kisses or daddy's kisses away. we want them all because we love you so much. lots of giggles and snuggles followed. and that was that.


heaven help this little mama.