::the one where we take a turn, while others go straight::

we walked in and ordered our drinks, iced caramel macchiatos. small talked with our favorite barista, giving her a hard time about dinner plans that have not come to pass. we laughed with the other one, that looks like olivia wilde, eyes that stop you in your tracks. making our way to an outside table he lamented forgetting his cigars as he rarely gets time to relax in this way. we took the obligatory instagram picture several times until one met my approval. then we settled into conversation saturated with dreams.

somewhere along this journey of life we took a turn while everyone else kept straight. we desire a life of less, not more. constantly purging this home of all things that hinder joy and life abundant. we desire a life of community, encouraging others along the way, carrying each others burdens, going the extra mile. we desire pockets of friends huddled over coffee discussing the life of jesus and how we can be more like him.

he dreams of a home church that begins with meals that fill the belly, sandwiched with  conversations good for the soul and laughter on the end. we wonder if there are others on a similar journey, seeking the jesus of the bible. the one that hung out with whores and thieves and low lives and proclaimed their value. the one that encouraged caring for the poor and widowed. the one that cared much more about people than the laws set in place. the one that would break the law if it meant meeting the need of a brother or sister.

i dream of a time for moms to come together and be refreshed. maybe reading a book together, or scripture or neither. just talking the evening away so excited for an opportunity to have conversations that are not interrupted with requests for more milk, help with the potty, cleaning up messes or breaking  up disputes. i dream of a home full of mothers with no common bond but this season of pouring out. i dream of a safe place to be real without fear of judgement or comparison. i dream of mothers encouraging mothers.

i check the time, knowing my precious mama is at home with the babies, and has to work tomorrow. we finish up the last sips of our coffee delighted with our time together and hopeful that our dreams may come to fruition. breathing in the moment one last time, we throw our cups in the trash and walk to our car hand in hand, we don't say it allowed but know we are blessed.

::grace enough::

the sun goes to bed earlier now.
darkness leads to an unavoidable slowness.
a yearning to be still and know.

the early morning sun calls us outside to enjoy the last few warm days of fall.
i sit and soak in the rays warming from the inside out.
i watch them, hoodies in place, explore the changes of nature.
crunching leaves.
smells of woodburning fill the air.
exploration takes on a new form as they discover the small patch of woods behind our house.

she makes her way through the trees and brush like she's been there 100 times. the little one gets stuck and calls for her. she runs to show him the way. she becomes his rescuer.

rescuer.
a term we have been using a lot.
we are teaching them about another rescuer.
one who rescued zacchaeus from a life of theft and emptiness.
one who rescued the adulterous woman from a life of insecurity and searching.
one who rescued people from a life of rule following to a life of love.
one who rescued the world from good enough to grace enough.


*linking up with life made lovely

::a season of slowness::

the leaves fall and the sun goes to bed earlier now.
the season invites a slowness of sorts.
the cold weather makes me want to hunker down under blankets with babies snuggled near, coffee in hand and books to be read.

i love the slowness.
i love the moments to sit and watch my little ones be little.
i love the moments to engage in the story eisley is telling in her mind.
i love the moments of little man driving his trucks, playing drums and air guitar.
i love the moments when jacob lays his head in my lap so we can breathe them in together.

the season also invites chaos with holidays to celebrate, family gatherings, baking, making presents and the running here and there.
even in the midst of choas, i will choose slowness.
i will choose to enjoy this fleeting season.
i will choose to take opportunities to teach and learn.
i will choose to bless and be blessed.


what will you choose for this season?

::thoughts on comparison::

:photo:

recently i was taking a drive and found myself stuck in traffic. a drive that should have taken 45 minutes turned into an hour and a half. as i moved further down the road i realized that there was a car that had hit the guard rail. he was fine- outside of his vehicle talking with the police officer. he was also completely off the road.

the only reason traffic was so delayed was because everyone was watching what was happening on the side of the road.

as i drove by, and took my turn rubber-necking, i realized that this is exactly what we do in every day life.

we often get caught up in what she is doing over there.

how is she parenting her children?
is she attachment or parent-led?
does she spank or gently guide?
does she stay at home or work outside the home?
does she keep her house clean and laundry caught up?
does she homeschool?
does she exercise? is she skinnier than me?
does she cook every night?
is her home decorated and maintained?
are her children wild or obedient?
do her clothes have puke and snot on them too?

we spend so much time evaluating what everyone else is doing that it slows us down in our journey to the destination we have been called to.

it happens to everyone.
we compare and then because of those comparisons we self-loathe.
we spend time criticizing ourselves and get caught up in the- but i can never be like her- mindset when we should be pushing forward.
god did not call us to mimic those around us.
god called us to live like him and that may look a little different from one person to the next....and that's okay. press on dear friend. press on.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus...  phillipians 3:14

::thoughts on mothering {kissing edition}::

:photo:

yesterday i heard the words come out of my FOUR YEAR OLD daughters mouth that i thought i wouldn't hear for at least another 10 years (of course hoping for 20).

"i kissed a boy on the playground today."

what. the. heck. (i thought to myself)

first response: eyebrows up, typical mommy face, followed by, you did what?

"i kissed a boy on the playground today."

why?

cause he likes me and i like him.


again. what. the. heck.

you see... we do not encourage boyfriend-girlfriend mushy stuff. we want her to be a kid while she is a kid with no thought for kissing and such until the time is appropriate....when she's 30!!!!

okay okay, regroup.

we don't kiss boys eisley.

yes i can. if i like them i can. (honestly, where does she get this stuff?)

no, no you can't. that's not appropriate and i don't want you doing that (eyebrows still up, followed by dead stare).

then in the back of my mind i hear gravel spinning as the punk teenage guy that i liked  at 16 years old was leaving my house. this was after coming to collect his birthday present that i spent my hard earned money on and he didn't even thank me.

to which my mother says: you are not to see him anymore.
to which i respond from behind tears, with all the drama of a daytime soap opera,  yes i can!!
the following day i saw him and many after that. i didn't even like him anymore. she was right. he was a jerk but that ol' rebellious spirit encouraged my will to be lived out.

YIKES!


so later eisley and i sit on the couch side-by-side.

mind you i have been praying to myself all evening on how i should handle this. i know you are probably thinking it's not that big of a deal, it's just kids kissing on the playground. and you might be right.

then i remember sitting at the lunch table in the 6th grade while all my friends who have kissed, and french-kissed at that, are telling me to practice on my hand so i'll know what to do. so there i am in the middle of the lunch room making out with the side of my thumb.

so, ahem, back to the couch.
take #2.

eisley, i want you to save your kisses.

why, mommy?

because one day you will meet someone like daddy that you will love like mommy loves daddy and you will want all of your kisses for him.

i could see her processing.

that's when i started tickling her all over and said: you'd better save those kisses. don't you give my kisses or daddy's kisses away. we want them all because we love you so much. lots of giggles and snuggles followed. and that was that.


heaven help this little mama.

::lessons learned about simplifying::

i recently read organized simplicity by tsh oxenreider and i just started practicing the way of jesus by mark scandrette. both super inspiring books about reducing materialism and living simply so that we can better serve those around us.

{lessons learned}

1. less things = more free time.

the less clothes my family owns the less laundry i have to do.
the less things we have in our home the less things i have to clean.
the less i desire things the less time i spend roaming the aisles of shopping centers.
all of this means more time for my precious family.

2. less things = more creativity

we spend time making toys with the children.
we spend time exploring more artistic endevors with our children.
we spend time in nature and enjoying the things god has given us to enjoy.
all of this means my family grows more tightly knit as we create.

3. less things = more care for gods people

we can teach our children about our privilege to care for gods people.
we can teach our children that others have less and need our help.
we can teach our children to give and love and serve.
all of this will bring joy to our family and those we encounter.


what do you do to simplify? and why do you choose to do it?