we hopped on the bed, her eyes wide with excitement as i pulled her tap shoes from the bag. i showed her how to work the buckle and watched as she practiced taking them on and off, wanting to be sure she could switch out her shoes between ballet and tap. i wondered in my mama heart, who will help her if she struggles with this?
a mama's heart, always preparing them, equipping them, encouraging them along this path to maturity and independence. children are a gift, something to care for and love and grow the best we can. it is not in the growing that is the hardest, it is in the letting go.
a ballerina must have a ballerina bun, oh no!, i thought. i should have googled this! too late. thank god for friends that stop by and have purses full of bobby pins. together we managed a messy bun that made the ballerinas eyes squint, showing the little wrinkles that appear when one experiences true delight.
she twirled in front of the mirror ending in her best ballerina pose. she giggled at herself and the beauty of it all. i looked on begging my mind to remember. this moment of discovery- realizing you love something you've never done before. the moment of joy- realizing beauty can be found in a pair of pink tights and tap shoes.
we walked into her dance school together, she introduced herself and answered all the questions the receptionist asked. i'm in first grade and i homeschool, she said. we sat and waited together for her class to be called. she asked a half dozen times, is it time yet? the anticipation overcoming her time little frame. we had the conversation we always have about blessing others. reach out to all but especially the quiet ones, i reminded her.
the door opened and my ballerina jumped to her feet and took off, no looking back, only forward, to the goodness that lie ahead.
so i'm letting go little by little and letting her become all that she is meant to be.