August 29, 2012

:the one where it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt:

he popped his blonde head up as soon as i opened the door, are we going to the post office and the park? yes, the post office then the park buddy. i promised an after nap adventure and an after nap adventure we would have topped with a little education. we've been studying community helpers and what better way to learn than to see the people and places in person.

the post office was tthe first stop. not an easy task with three little ones and not a task i normally look forward to. however, today i approached it as a learning experience. a sweet gentleman let me and my crew go ahead of him which i think he probably regretted quickly. the computer froze and would not process my shipment. of course no one behind me knew that. so that gentleman had to wait much longer than he anticipated.

we talked about community helpers and they asked the sweet lady behind the counter some questions and chatted with her daughter, a fifth grader, while we waited. they asked for snack about 350 times but maintained their composure, thank you jesus.

next up the park to see the ducks. they played and laughed and got entirely too close to the water giving me heart palpatations. i watched the older ones closely as i planned different rescue maneuvers in my mind in case they happened to fall in. not long into our adventure, the coopster spots a tree she simply must climb. the little dude and i plop down on a bench so he can finish his snack while baby girl just hangs out in the stroller. moments later eisley screams and comes over crying rubbing her chest and belly. she said she got stung by a bug so i go over to investigate. sure enough there was an odd spiny, tiny creature on the tree that she must have laid on while climbing. it was dead but one of the little spiny things went into her skin. she cried and cried and cried. she said things like:

i wish daddy were here.
why did you choose that tree?
why didn't you check to see if there were bugs on it?
i'm never coming to the park again.
i'm never climbing another tree again.

now this girl loves to climb trees. here she is climbing the tree at her grandparents house IN A DRESS. a dedicated tree climber indeed. but she got hurt. she was wounded doing something she loves. so she decided, if something i love can hurt me then i just won't love it anymore.

as i turned over the events of the day, i felt a heavy shift in my soul. i get it little one. my heart still hurts from wounds received throughout the years. yet, if i stopped loving all the things that hurt me i would love very little. i don't want to love little. i want to love much. so much it hurts.

yes, love so much it hurts. then love some more.

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