:the one where age brings wisdom:

our sunday ritual. worship, park, naps and dinner with friends.

children laugh and play. peace is found in friendship. baby girl gets passed around, soaked in love. that man and i dispute, lovingly, over the children saying mama or dada first. the one that is a daddy's boy to the core? well, he said my name first. we grin the sly crooked grin, wrinkles around the eyes and we both know, love. endless love. the kind lionel richie sings about but only few experience.

i'm on edge a bit.
their limbs far to close to the flames burning hot. they want to play with it. dabble in it. get as close as they can, feeling the warmth without harm. no fear, having never been burned. only we can see the danger. the ones that have already trod this path.

there is value in age. though mine out races the others seeking the next decade with a vengence. i find myself grateful for lessons gifted with age.

don't catch that twig on fire.
don't get to close.
careful now.
if you get burned it will hurt very badly.

still they dabble, because it's fun playing with fire.

one day they will appreciate wisdom passed down, but rarely in the moment.


*linking up with carissa for miscellany monday

:the one where i left the church, yet still worship:

recently i read this post by rachel held evans and it struck a nerve with me, in a good way. the oh-so-we-are-not-alone-in-this-journey way.

we left the church over two years ago.
it was unintentional really. we thought we would simply find another place to belong and possibly begin serving in the church setting again.
we didn't.

we have visited several churches. one church in particular we have been to many times. we love the pastor and his wife and the people are unbelievably welcoming. however, there are few people our age and even fewer children.

having returned to work full-time i became increasingly aware of the time i was missing with my children and decided that sunday was a morning i'd rather spend cherishing my family.

last sunday, i had special time with my girls while jacob and durgin had some guy time. as i walked and at times ran beside eisley riding her bike, giggling so proud of her skills, i worhsipped.

sunday evening when we had friends over for dinner and their children played with my children and laughter filled our home, i worshipped.

sunday night when i read the bible book at bed time and eisley asked the hard questions about heaven, i worshipped.

when my head finally hit the pillow hard next to his and our eyes met, looking deep, knowing one another, i worhsipped.

though i hope to be part of a community, a church one day, i am quite content to simply be the church and worship with my family each day.

::god is in my room::

mornings are my time. 5am- yes please. the house is hushed. only the hum of fans blowing can be heard. for nearly four months now, since this one began to grow inside, i have fought my mind and body tooth and nail to continue my 5am routine, unsuccessfully. these days it's 6am, sometimes 7am before i finally drag myself out of the coziness of bed. i usually welcome the pitter patter and good morning kisses of the little ones around 7am.

a few mornings ago, after making breakfast, i decided to sit with a cup of coffee and have a few moments in the Word. I plopped myself into my favorite spot and opened my bible.

immediately eisley came and said: "mommy will you play with me in my room?"

i responded: "yes baby, just give me 5 minutes to spend with god and then i am all yours."

her response full of seriousness and intent, "mommy, god is in my room too!"

so my time of worship was spent playing dinosaurs.
i have never felt closer to god.


where do you find god?