:the one where we dream as five:

we've dreamed a lot of dreams.

we dreamed of togetherness in that tiny one bedroom apartment. and so we were, together. late night strolls downtown. our first real christmas tree together and those silly santa hats i had us wear christmas morning. you're welcome dear.

then she came, not like i planned, even better. she made our world happy and crazy and busy and confusing all at the same time. curls tight, eyes blue and lips full. the epitome of beauty and innocence. now she dreams. as of late she has her heart set on motherhoood, art, oh and being a pop star. thank you barbie and aunt stacy. we look at each other often and mouth the words, "olive juice."  smile the knowing smile of a secret between just the two of us. the keeping kind like pinkie swears and cross-my-heart-hope-to-die's.

 

next came the boy. and oh boy, what a boy. eisley, passive and nurturing. durgin full-on, full-speed, full-force, every second that he is awake. yet he snuggles and speaks love unprompted, knowing it should be both patient and kind. he loves well and forgives easily. already learning to break his sister with hugs and giggles.

sweet baby girl, the last of our brood, the natural way that is, did wonders for this mama heart. hard and defensive, walls high and full of i-don't-need-anyone. she helped me let them in. the ones i don't need but can't do without. the ones that can speak both healing and hurt if allowed too close. one week in the NICU and my walls came down, washed away like a dam in a heavy rain. a crack at first, followed by waterfalls of healing tears.

now we dream as five. FIVE.


*linking up with the parent hood and heather for just write